What a piss poor performance. . . .

Want to know what pisses a photographer off more than ANYTHING? Uncontrollable lighting. When a photographer has to work in a building with poor lighting and no tools with which to correct that situation, frustration, anger and rage are a few of the emotions that will inevitably cross that poor bastard‘s mind. If a photographer is working an event and doesn’t have a powerful flash to light up their subject and capture motion. . .well, let me just say that when you’re busting your ass to get the perfect shot and your images keep coming out all fucked up and blurry, a gal tends to get a little miffed. Especially if your best camera has died on you a mere three days before one of the biggest opportunities of your photographic career. Okay, okay, the Mothers Against Methamphetamine Sharp Dressed Whoa-Man beauty pageant isn’t exactly the kind of happening that is going to yield earth-shattering photographic impact. However, it would have been nice to have adequate equipment to get me through the event with end results that didn’t make me want to scream and curse out the sweet ladies who put the whole thing together in that retched little auditorium.

I don’t know what I was expecting. I’m only human, and my photographs are only going to come out as good as my equipment will allow them to, and when you take a huge step backwards in technology (I dropped down at least 3 mega pixels and have only been using this camera for a few days) the quality of your work is going to suffer as well as morale. God, what I wouldn’t do for a crate of film and my own damn darkroom. I know that if I had shot with my Canon Rebel Gii, which is a film camera, I would have yielded much better results. Hell, I’d commit a Class B felony to get my hands on a good, reliable DSLR. However, I’m just going to have to buckle down, brown bag it for a long time, and pool the money that I’m going to save when I quit smoking to get a real camera.

Oh, and another thing! I absolutely refuse to shoot any more events that I am not compensated for . I am an artist. I am not a political tool or a high mucky muck’s footstool. From now on, if you want me to shoot photos for you, you had better damn well have something fun in mind. Art is supposed to be FUN! Creativity is supposed to be EXCITING! Photography should not make a photographer want to shoot someone with anything that holds a slug instead of either film or some form of digital media storage device.

Oh yes. I am pissed that my photos were shit and I had a miserable fucker of a time getting them. The only highlight of the night was spending time with friends and family and laughing at some of the straightest dudes I know all dolled up and parading around in drag. At least it was all for a good cause, right?

Smoke on the water, in my car, hell, smoke everywhere. . .

After nearly FOUR YEARS of throwing my money at cigarettes. . . I'm about to quit. No, it's not because big government is telling everyone what's good for them and I feel like I should follow the crowd of quitters like so many sheep in the flock. I'm quitting for two simple reasons.

#1: I'm getting sick and tired of sounding like an old person, hacking and coughing all the live long day. I'm sick of waking up in the middle of the night clutching a pack of smokes thinking, "God! I need a fucking cigarette!" Honestly, that more than anything reminds me of a damn heroin addict. Cigarettes are the devil. I'm done.

#2: In about three months time, I should have enough cash to buy the camera I actually want. It's a nice, reasonably priced Pentax K-x DSLR. I want it. BADLY.

So, there ya go. What more motivation does a girl need?

It ain't fine portraiture, but it puts money in the bank. . .

Back in March, I was commissioned by my boss Justin Bintliff to photograph the staff of Clinton Drug. I thought it was going to be a cakewalk.

Some people, like Ms. Melissa, were super easy to work with. This, I believe is a great shot of her and really captures her happy, bubbly personality.



Other people, like Ms. Pam, were a bit more troublesome. Which brings me to my point. . .

I would rather work with someone who is going to be open and confident during the shoot that with someone who is super concerned with how bad they may look in the finished product.

Have a little faith, people! We're photographers! It's what we do. . .

An introduction is in order. . .

Sometimes, I wish I was one of those super articulate artsy types who can bullshit their way through a showing of their work and rake in the money like a fat kid doing yard work. I've come to realize something over the years: That just ain't me.

I have to admit, I hate lying to people about their art. If I think it sucks, I generally say so. If I happen to believe that something that I've created is a gigantic piece of shit and should be doused in holy water then burned, I usually speak my mind.

For those of you who don't know me personally, I'm a 23 year old, pasty white American woman with a slightly warped lens and a rather conservative approach to life. I wasn't always like this. I used to smile all the time, get high listening to Pink Floyd, and dream about leaving this shit hole state for something bigger.

I've come to terms with the fact that I'm most likely not going anywhere any time soon, so I'm coping with the fact that no, I'm never going to be a famous artist. It's okay. I'm fine with it now.

Anyhow, the weather's rather nice. It's a lovely day to be a pessimistic bitch. Expect an abundance of snarkiness and a passel of photographs to keep you entertained.

Enjoy. . .